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feel so angry to myself.. why am i so useless???
everyday go for the same place..do the same thing...see the same thing...
when i don't know what am i doing, i felt so down and out of mood..
i feel like running away...ESCAPING with you would be nice...
i know i might have made all of you upset or angry with my mood swing..but i can't help it..
changing course...when you all understands everything, i know nothing at all...it used to be the other way round..why is this happening to me?
is GOD trying to tell me something? or was it just my delusions?
i tried to be more FOCUS...more concentrated..
but somehow, i failed and i failed again..
this feeling is so depressing me..
i think too much..or maybe too little...i might even crash down all my future..
my every action builds my future..but from what it seems now, my future is like a BLACK HOLE...
i remember a phrase from somewhere...
NO ONE SUFFERS FROM LAZINESS, THEY'RE JUST LACK OF PASSION...
i think it's a GOOD phrase...MEANINGFUL..
i took too much time thinking bout you...and i took too much time searching for the ''OLD'' me..
in my world, my time stops a year ago..the year when i would understand things that happens around me..
right now, i don't know what i'm living for...what's my purpose of doing the same thing everyday? am i good enough to start off where i ended?
my vision is indeed very BLUR upon me..i don't see the reason why i live in this world anymore....
whether i'm dead or alive, it doesn't matter...to be honest, i really wanted to die a long time ago..i just can't find the courage to do it..
but mentally, i'm dead already...it's like winter inside me..COLD..DEAD..LIFELESS..

i don't want to live like this...PLEASE KILL ME OR JUST WAKE ME UP FROM MY DELUSIONS!!!
i don't want to end up losing the things that makes me happy, especially you..so just wake me or MURDER me.........

** P/S : EMO EMO TODAY..don't know what makes me so DAMN EMO... **

i hate show-off peoples..i really hate them!!
ASS HOLE!!! really don't like you..
yes, you might be funny at times...but i still hate you mostly...
can't you just have a little bit self control??!!!
you always say it's just your nature..
but to me, you're more to show-off than being careless...
FUCK YOU!!! i don't like you!!!
now that i know you...i really HATE you to the max!!
i have a problem with your personality...
i HATE you, i HATE you!!!

i'm being helpful to friends...
but what happens to me??
especially you!!!
you just treat me as if i'm worth nothing..
and you just simply explain certain things to me...
you say you DON'T KNOW...
but actually you got it right all along...
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU???!!!
you're making me hate everything in here!!!
you're such a BASTARD!!!

don't ask me who am i talking about..
i would never ever going to tell who is it...
so just save your freaking energy to yourself..
no offense...it's just an EMO-ing STATEMENT..
sorry for the harsh words..