i really need something to shut down my emotion..because its beating out of control now..
i know i might look fine on the outside but there are a MILLION things i wanted to burst out at times..
it does feel good when we're in contact..at some instant, i doesn't want to keep all that's inside me anymore...
however, i still managed to lock it in me..if one day i really break the lock in my heart, i'm very sure no one will ever treat me the same way again..
SELFISH is not the right word to describe it..im just too scared and im not brave enough to do it..
i really hope someone can share this insanity with me but no..there isn't anyone..they treat it like it's some kind of MADNESS or MENTAL ILLNESS...
i think bout it every single second, everyday, every night, every moment that counts while im alive..
it's so complicating...and its making me lonely...
i wanted you real bad..so bad it made my tears roll down my cheeks when i thought of you...
what's even worst is i can't get enough out of you..im addicted...there's no turning back..
i've went down this road, this path..there's no U-TURN..
i tried changing every thought i had bout us..but it just get even worst..
was it a side-effect from my past experience? or was it just me thinking too much?
im not sure and i can't be sure..cause i can't see the truth anymore...im lost in the thoughts of my imaginations..
** PS : This post is not related to anyone in particular.So please don't SS. Thank You ^^ **
r u okay? hardly to see no colours in ur wordings... okay, this is no joke. hmm, read ur blog, seems like there is a lot of inner feelings inside u. r u really okay? dun scare me. tell me if u need my help. maybe not tru conversation, in words would be better.
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